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As a writer, it’s easy to feel caught between two full time jobs, the all-consuming day job that sucks up all of your attention, and the life-affirming writing projects, for which you never seem to have enough time.
But no matter how overwhelming your day job may be, there are simple steps you can take today to start carving infrastructure for the creative time you need within the demands of your real world life.
STEP 1: DECIDE WHAT’S REALLY IMPORTANT TO YOU
Jess Hinds, who teaches our Meditative Writing classes, does a powerful exercise with her writing students, which can be a wonderful springboard toward finding a work/life balance:
Imagine that your life is like a table with six chairs. Each chair represents a part of your life that matters to you deeply: it could be that screenplay you’ve always wanted to write, an interpersonal relationship with a family member, lover or friend, a business goal you’ve been putting off, a cherished activity that brings you joy, or an interest that you desperately wish to explore.
If you could fill those six chairs right now with any combination of people, activities, projects or experiences you wanted, what six aspects of your life would you choose?
Write down those six things for yourself. And remember as you do so, you only get six chairs. You can change whom or what occupies them tomorrow, but for today you have to choose the very most important things to fill those chairs. Because those are the only chairs you’ve got.
Now repeat this exercise with the things that are actually at your metaphorical table right now. And notice if there’s a difference between the aspects of your life you want at your table, and the ones that are actually taking up those chairs. That means you have some important choices to make, not for forever, but for now, about who’s actually going to be invited to your table.
Knowing there are only six things we can truly invite to our table at any given period of our lives helps take the guilt out of the hard choices we all have to make in order to build the creative lives we need.
Maybe you “should” be going to the gym every day, spending more time with your crazy Aunt Ida, or doing that extra project to impress your boss, but unless those things are important enough to claim a precious seat at your table right now they’re just going to have to wait for another time. You can always invite them back in the future when you have the time and energy to give them the attention they deserve. But for right now, the only way you can protect the things that matter most to you is by learning to decisively say no to the things that matter less.
STEP 2: BUILD SOME INFRASTRUCTURE
Now that you know what you need to focus on, it’s time to build the infrastructure that makes that focus possible. Remember, many of these important aspects of your life are going to be things that have been neglected for weeks, months or even years as you’ve been distracted by all the “should’s” and “have-to’s” that were consuming your life. Your tools might feel a little rusty, your relationships a little neglected, and your stamina might need some time to catch up.
Give yourself the infrastructure you need to get back into the rhythm and build the relationships you want with the things that matter most to you. Set a weekly date in your calendar to work on something that matters to you. Take a class that helps you get those tools out of the toolbox or maybe even add some new ones. Find a mentor who can help you keep on track with your goals and coach you though your fears. Resolve to reach out to a valuable friend or important contact once a week until you’ve built the social network you’re longing for. You don’t need to give equal time and attention to every seat at your table, but make sure you’ve got a strong plan of action, and the support you need, to take care of each and every chair, even if it’s only once a week.
STEP 3: THINK LITTLE STEPS, NOT BIG ONES
We all want to reach a point where the majority of our time each week goes to the six things at our table. But the truth is, getting to that point can take time. If you’ve been sitting like a couch potato for the last six months, a three-hour trip to the gym is far more likely to lead to a pulled muscle than a new lease on health. And if you haven’t written for six months, a 12-hour writing marathon is more likely to scare the crap out of you than to lead to something beautiful on the page.
Change is scary. And if you’re going to succeed in making big changes in your life, the only way to get there is through small steps that you know you can accomplish. Instead of trying to finish your screenplay, focus instead on signing up for a class. Instead of trying to write all day, set a timer and write for seven minutes.
Eventually, these small steps turn into big ones, building a chain of success that makes you feel great about your writing and the natural endurance that allows you to spend more and more time on your project. All people are creatures of habit and habits are created by continuous repetition of small and simple tasks. Which means if you want to spend your life as a writer, the best way to do so is to write for a tiny bit of time as often as you can. Eventually, the habit gets set in your unconscious mind, your weekly writing session turns into a daily writing session, and your seven minutes of writing time turns into an hour, or three hours or even more.
STEP 4: LET YOUR DAY JOB & YOUR OTHER OBLIGATIONS SERVE YOUR CREATIVE GOALS
Your crazy-making day job may not deserve the giant seat at your table it’s currently occupying, but telling your boss exactly what you think of him, quitting your day job, and running impulsively into the life of a starving artist is likely to throw your life into such chaos that you don’t have any time at all for the things that matter to you.
Your dysfunctional Aunt Ida may not deserve the vast amount of attention she is currently demanding, but deciding to cut her off completely and cancel your trip home for Christmas is likely to just create even more soul-sucking drama in your life.
Instead, look for one little way every single week to serve the things that really matter to you, and to step away just a little bit from the things that don’t. Add an extra ten minutes to your lunch break so you can work on your screenplay. You’ll be surprised to notice not only that you won’t get fired, but also that you’re a lot more productive and a lot happier in the time you do spend at work.
Tell your crazy Aunt Ida that you’re going to call her every 2-3 days instead of every day, and she may make a fuss at first. But stick to your guns and eventually you’ll be shocked to discover that not only will she respect your limits, but you will also have so much more energy to give to her when you do speak. Now you have the time to dedicate to the things that fill you up!
STEP 5: MAKE BOLD DECISIONS
The things that matter most to us often change over time. Right now, working on your screenplay might be more important than putting in those extra hours at work. But six months from now, taking the next step in your career might be the most important thing in your life. Don’t be afraid to reevaluate what’s really important to you at any given phase of your life. But once you decide, allow yourself to fully commit. Be bold in the things you say yes to and bold in the things you strongly say no to. Give yourself the resources, the infrastructure, the energy, the time and the support you need to make the change you need in your life. Stop waiting for the perfect time to do the things that matter to you—because that time is never coming. But when you resolve boldly to do it now, whether that’s by giving yourself 10 minutes a day or 10 hours a day, you’ll be shocked to see how much time magically starts to open up to you.
And if you’re going to sway from the things that matter to you, do it consciously. Consciously deciding to replace one chair with another is good and healthy and will get you where you want to go. But allowing the things that matter least to you to crowd out the things that matter most doesn’t serve them, and it doesn’t serve you.
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Last Updated: May 13, 2025 2:00 PM EST
By registering for the course, you are agreeing to the following terms, which form a legal contract between you and Jacob Krueger Studio, LLC (“Company”) and govern your attendance at and/or participation in Company’s course (the “Course”).
Prevention of “Zoom-Bomber” Disruptions; Unauthorized Publication of Class Videos. Company will record each class session, including your participation in the session, entitled “The Videos”. To prevent disruptions by “zoom-bombers” and provide Company and
participants the legal standing to remove unauthorized content from platforms such as YouTube and social media sites, you agree that
(1) you are prohibited from recording any portion of the Course;
(2) in exchange for the opportunity to participate in the Course, you assign to Company your verbal contributions to the session discussions.
To be clear, you assign to Company only your oral statements during recorded Course sessions. You retain all copyright to any and all written materials you submit to the class and the right to use them in any way you choose without permission from or compensation to the Company.
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